ignore one side of the body can be preceded by sex-play that takes the whole body into account. If the partners have different genital sizes or penetration angles, simple modifications can make most any position work. Finally, once you know how to approach a position from other angles—literally and figuratively—you can revisit your repertoire and adapt it to better suit your needs or your partner’s. The Adagio: Taking It Easy and Making It Last When restaurateurs want to hurry their customers, they may ask the musicians to play something allegro—a fast tempo to get slow people out and new ones in. Quick has its place—at the table and in the bedroom—and a later chapter is dedicated to getting the most out of the quickie, but for now, we’re going to look at taking love leisurely. Whether you want to indulge in extra romance or find yourself needing more time than usual, slowing the pace helps you enjoy the experience, perfect your technique, and might even reduce or eliminate early ejaculation concerns. Finally, a slower pace gives you time to do something sexy with your mouth in bed—other than kissing or oral stimulation. Call it coital communication. This Chapter’s Positions and Their Degrees of Difficulty: XXXXX POSITION 1: Headers and Footers XXXXX POSITION 3: Meet and Greet The Libretto: Adding Words to the Music Whether it’s about keeping it clean or cursing like a sailor, slow-motion sex with eyes locked on each other and mouths talking or even whispering distance from your paramour’s ear turns your mouth into a love line straight to the genitals. Here are a few steps for adding dirty dialogue to your duo. For thirty minutes minimum, using your Sunday morning crossword pen and a pad of paper—or your trusty laptops—each partner writes an erotic description of a sexual interlude between you. Choose words that appeal to all five senses: how her hair smells, how his lips feel, how her sweat tastes, how he looks in the sunlight, how her panting and purring turns you on. Be as dirty and as Next, sit down and swap stories. Again, you are not there to edit or spell-check, but rather to observe. What words did your partner use that turned you on? What scenarios did you read that excited you? What tone is created on the pages in front of you? What would you like to try? To avoid? To preserve as fantasy for the time being? Now, sit across from your partner—perhaps, for practice, in the Headers and Footers position that follows—and talk about the positive things that you liked about the piece. You can also raise questions about things that could provide better experiences: So, are you saying we should try more candlelight? Would you like me to dress as Tarzan once? What’s the most erotic word that I could use to refer to your __? It’s as though you both read each other’s sex diaries—with permission to do Incorporate these words and fantasies into your next text message, e-mail, love note, or phone call.
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